The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
