he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
