Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
