their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
