i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
