Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
be right there i have to get my cape
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
