Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
