It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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