Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
