I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
