He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
