That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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