Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
this just has baby written all over it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
