xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
