He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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