You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
