'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There's always time for handjobs
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
