Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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