I cannot find my penis.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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