Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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