Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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