i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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