You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
