She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
