We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
