he wants to bone in the snuggie
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
