adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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