WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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