Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
