If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
