He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
And then he peed in my hair
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
