For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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