An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
