I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Lo siento on account of my penis...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
