Umm I'm too high to move.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
