HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
