She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
