im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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