Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
