he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
