Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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