I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
