if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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