Where did you get a picture of my penis
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
