Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
