come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
