im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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