Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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