Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
