At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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