He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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