oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
