I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
